Wonderland
by rauchen
Summary: Kay Davis was just your average rocker with a hangover, until someone slipped something in her drink and she fell into her own personal Wonderland. A short story of the cliché "girl gets stuck in the narutoverse" theme with a little twist
1. Filth

**Summary: **Kay Davis was just your average rocker with a hangover, until someone slipped something in her drink and she fell into a really messed up Wonderland.

A short comical story of the cliché "girl gets stuck in the narutoverse" theme, with a little twist.

Rated T for use of language and drug-related nonsense. Rating may go up later depending.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks_  
><em>All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright<em>

"I can't feel my ass."

"You can't feel your what?"

"My ass. You know, that round object that grows at the top of your legs? Attached to your back? Yeah. I can't feel that."

Rachael did a double take before bursting into a fit of laughter. She was currently sitting on the red leather couch in my dressing room, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth as she grabbed her stomach for support against the hilarity.

I was sitting on my stool in front of the vanity set my stage manager had set up before the two of us had arrived at the set. I had braided my greasy black hair into a fishtail knot that hung over my right shoulder and my eyes were covered in so much black eye shadow you could barely make out the whites hidden beside blue irises. Lipstick might have been a good idea; according to my stage manager red made my eyes pop (along with making me look like a prostitute) and would have the fans lusting over me for days.

But I was too fucking cross faded to figure out how the small contraption of lip color on top of the vanity worked, and all I could think about was how my ass was slowly disappearing out of my life.

"Is it gone yet?" I asked, tilting my head back towards Rachael. "Has my ass disappeared?"

She gave me a serious look that lasted about two seconds before kicking her legs up in a fit of laughter once again.

The show was great, to say the least. I made it through the entire set without puking, though I had come really close during "Manic" when Rob jumped down from the bass stand and landed next to me. I had to stop mid-lyric to catch my breath, thinking there was some sort of earthquake before realizing that the red haired man was strumming away next to me, before giving the audience a nervous laugh and continuing on – _and if they can't break me they won't take me, no-oh_

Rachael gave me as much of a smile as she could give once I got backstage. She was chewing viciously on her laminated pass, complaining about how hungry she was and how she couldn't wait to get out of this god forsaken town, before Rob asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom. She gave him a funny look, nodded once, and the two headed down the hall completely opposite from the toilet.

"Remember, we have to be on the bus early tomorrow morning so we can get to New York in time for KK's photo shoot!" Tim, our real manager, not just some shitty guy who helped set up our props and choreograph dance moves that were never going to happen, called as he saw me, Dan, and Andy heading towards the Exit. "Try not to get lost this time."

* * *

><p>The bar was so much dirtier than any other I had been to before.<p>

"I thought this was supposed to be a club," Andy said, setting a pretty hefty amount of money on the table and telling the bartender to keep the shots coming. The bartender, a man with a scruffy beard and a lazy eye, got straight to work and we were drunk by two.

"And she seriously almost pushed him off the stage!" Dan laughed, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as he told the story of how Rob had basically attacked me to the group of strangers that had crowded around us. I tried to laugh but felt the vile start to build up in my stomach and immediately stopped, set my drink down, and walked away from the group and into the bathrooms to release the toxins into the sewer.

I took my time in there, untying my hair and trying to brush through it with my fingers, but it was too greasy. I hadn't had a proper shower in about a week. I always planned on showering when we stopped at the hotel a few days back, but Rob had found a dealer and we had used the bathtub for other things besides cleaning ourselves. Needless to say, I felt and looked disgusting, and there was a sudden ache in my head that was telling me it was time to go back.

I emptied the contents of my purse until I found a single white pill. I placed the pill in a crack in-between two of the bathroom tiles, and stomped on it with my boots until it was all crushed up before getting on my knees and sniffing it up.

Dan and Andy had disappeared into the crowd of people by the time I made it back to the bar top. I scrunched my nose in irritation, knowing there was no way I could possibly make it to the bus without them, picked up my drink and took a sip –

And then promptly blacked the fuck out.

* * *

><p>"What is that <em>thing?<em>"

"I believe it's a person, Deidara."

"Ohhhh! It's a girl. Toby thinks she's cute – AH, GROSS! Never mind. Toby thinks she smells!"

"Girl's don't smell, you ignorant dobe," the cloaked blonde boy hissed at the mask man, pushing him out of the way and squatting down to get a better at the creature before him. He poked her head with his pointer finger, letting it loll to the side as he took a breath and – "Shit! She really does smell. What kind of creature is she?"

"Deidara, I do not have the patience for you or that annoying child to be fooling around here. We have to report back to leader," Sasori called from inside his monster of a puppet. "Leave the girl there. She is of no importance to us."

"Toby wants to keep her! Toby wants to keep her!"

"We can't keep her, stupid. She's not an animal," Deidara said, standing back up and giving her a good kick in the side. "Hey, you! Wake up and take a shower. Did you hear me?"

"Deidara. I said **now.** I do not like-"

"To be kept waiting, we know! Come on Toby." Deidara turned just as the annoying man leaned over and scooped her up.

"Toby's going to keep her!" He shouted, following behind the pair with the limp girl laying bridal style in his arms. Toby breathed in and let out a dramatic cough. "I'm going to clean her first though!"

* * *

><p>"Why did you bring her here, Madara?" Pein asked, a slightly irritated expression radiating from the crease in his forehead. "She doesn't appear to be strong at all. Almost no visible chakra levels. And… she looks disgusting."<p>

Madara used this chance to finally take a full look at the girl in his arms. She was short, maybe up to his shoulder at most, with greasy black hair and thick black smudges around her eyes. She was dressed in odd clothing for a non-ninja, which he knew was due to the fact that she wasn't from this world; leather shorts, a black top that only covered her chest, leather jacket and matching boots. She looked… well, he didn't really know what she looked like, but it wasn't pleasant.

"I have reason to believe that Hishibi is on the move again," Madara said with a small smirk. "Surely you remember him."

"Of course I do," Pein replied hastily. "He was the man who was interrupting the balance of our world by pulling women out of another. I thought he was disposed of."

"He was," Madara replied. "But apparently there's someone following in his footsteps. Whoever it is, they're obviously not smart, because when we found her there was no sign of life for miles."

"Did you think whoever did it just wasn't satisfied with their outcome? I mean… look at her. Not exactly a prize, if you ask me,"

"No. Hishibi's technique is a pick and choose sort of thing. The girl wouldn't be here if she wasn't specifically chosen."

"What use could she possibly have in this world?"

Madara smirked. "How about we wait and find out?"

* * *

><p>"Where the fuck is she?" The dark haired boy leapt across the counter, grabbing the scruffy bartender by the collar of his shirt. Andy grabbed Dan's shoulder, trying to pull him back but his coordination was too off, and he ended up slinging his arm backwards and hitting someone in the face.<p>

"Sorry dude! Complete accident," the brunette turned, just to be knocked in the mouth by the guy he had just hit. Dan turned around, narrowing his eyes at the fight that had just broken loose, before turning back around and promptly punching the bartender in the jaw.

The crowd was chanting at the brawl, soaking up the entertainment that came from the two fucked up rockstars. Dan pushed them out of the way, grabbed Andy by the neck, and led him outside as the sirens started wailing.

"We gotta get the fuck out of here!"

"But what about KK?"

"Staying here and getting arrested isn't going to help find her. She's disappeared before, remember?" Dan reasoned, lighting his cigarette as the two walked down the street.

"I know, but after last time…" Andy replied, shaking his head so his hair fell in front of his face, shielding his eyes from the unnaturally bright streetlights. "You'd think she'd be more careful."

"It's KK, she's never careful, and no matter what happens; she'll just fall back into the same routine. Let's get back to the bus before Tim rings both our necks. And hey, she probably just dipped out early and is waiting for us there."

She wasn't there, though. The three boys – Dan, Andy, and now Rob – tore the bus apart looking for any sign that she had been there.

There was none.

At seven in the morning, Tim found the three sitting in front of the bus with their heads hanging over their knees in defeat.

"What's going on?" he asked. "You guys smell like shit. Wait – where's KK?"

Andy was the one to tell him the bad news; she had gone to the bathroom, they had gone off with a couple of girls, and when they came back she was gone. As expected, their manager didn't take the news well. He threw his cigarette on the ground, crushed it, and pointed to each member as he yelled insane profanities.

"How hard is it to keep track of a nineteen year old girl!" He yelled, spitting on the ground before walking away. "This band's a train wreck. You all disgust me!"

* * *

><p>"Why does she have to stay in our room?" The shark asked with an annoyed tone. "She stinks."<p>

"Then bathe her," Pein snapped. Asserting his position as leader over the years had slowly begun to get very difficult as his members slowly but surely developed minds of their own. Sure, they had always been advocates of free thinking – they were S-class criminals, for crying out loud – but there had always been an ounce of fear Pein had over them to keep them in line. That fear had seemed to be lacking lately, though, and he was not in the mood to instill it again.

"Her importance is enclosed information at this point; all you need to know is that we need to keep her alive. Think how long she'd last in a room shared by Hidan and Kazuku… or Sasori and Deidara? Do I need to remind you how Zetsu survives?"

"Itachi killed his whole clan – his _blood_ – in a matter of hours. What makes you think he won't kill her?"

"We both know Itachi doesn't kill _just_ to kill," Pein replied.

"What about me?"

"And we both know Itachi has an excellent way of keeping you in line."

A soft moan echoed throughout the room, alerting the two men that their third party was waking.

"Look, your roommate has woken up. You should introduce yourself."

And with that, the orange haired man disappeared from sight.

* * *

><p>I woke up with the worst headache I had ever had the pleasure of experiencing, and believe me when I say I've had a lot of fucking headaches. I wasn't aware of where I was at first, which isn't a very big surprise but usually I'm able to at least guess what kind of room I'm in within the first few seconds of consciousness. Hotel room, dressing room, bathroom, kitchen, bar, outhouse (yes, it's happened before), but at that moment I couldn't think of anything.<p>

Nothing was familiar.

"Hey, you. Get up. It's time to show you to your room so we can put you down again."

I couldn't make out who was talking to me, I just stood up and did as he said. "He," by the way, was a big blur of blue and black, shifting and turning in front of me as my vision tried to correct itself.

I tried to ask where I was, but I couldn't form words. When the blur began to move forward, I follow suit, trying to keep my feet steady as I walked but failing miserably. I was trying desperately to comprehend what was happening, but it was no use.

"Down this hall."

Down what hall? All I saw was a blur of color, no distinct walls or door frames or –

I collided into something and fell to the ground. If I had thought my headache before was worse, this was like being dead.

"Good job with the hand eye coordination," the blue blur laughed at me. "Get back up."

I just sat there for a minute confused; there was an irritated reminder at the back of my mind that said there was something important I had to do today, something that would get Tim's panties in a bunch and lose me a bunch of money if I didn't, but I couldn't place my finger on it.

"I'm not going to carry you like a baby, get your ass up!"

I didn't reply though, I was too busy trying to compose myself and think of what it was I had to do. Tim was a very good manager, but when he got angry he was really scary. He was like a father in the way where he knew exactly what to take away if I messed up, and I couldn't handle having stuff taken away from me.

"I said get up you dumb little maggot!"

"What the hell did you just call me!" I yelled, narrowing my eyes as my voice finally resurfaced. "Can't you see I'm having a bit of trouble keeping balance, asshole! Where the hell am I? What the fuck did you slip into my drink!"

(Kisame would never admit that he was a little taken aback by this sudden outburst; he would have never expected such a small little girl to stand up to someone of his standpoint. Even if she didn't know exactly who he was, his appearance was enough to set anyone on edge. He was a walking, talking, air breathing _shark_ for crying out loud! But this little, smelly girl had just yelled at him as if she was his own mother. He let out a laugh at the thought.)

"What are you laughing at! Answer me! Do you have any idea who I am?"

"I think it's _you_ that has no idea who _I_ am," the blur said, moving closer to me and squatting down to my level. I squinted my eyes, trying to push my vision into giving me a clearer image of this man, but all I got out of it were beady black eyes and waves of blue.

"You just look like someone who's taken too many drugs," I replied nervously, not yet noticing the irony of my words. "I mean, have you noticed your skin has turned blue?"

This earned me an insane bark of laughter from the man, who stood up as if he was about to walk away from me; as if what I said was such a huge joke.

"I didn't turn blue, I was _born_ blue."

"Right."

"You sound a little unsure about that," he said, the overall scary demeanor he was trying to portray earlier seemingly disappearing. "Now get up, I have to introduce you to our roommate."

"You still didn't answer my question," I responded, a little agitated, but getting up nonetheless. Balance…well, it still didn't seem to b e on my side, but my vision was clearing up quite nicely. "Where am I?"

"I can't tell you the exact location but," he gave me a toothy grin. "Have you ever heard of Akatsuki?"

* * *

><p>Apparently Aakatsuki was some criminal organization run by a really scary guy with a bunch of piercings and some really cool power they called a "kekki genki." The entire explanation had gone over my head, basically, because the ache in the back of my eyes still hadn't disappeared, and my throat was feeling really dry from the dehydration. I had drunk too much alcohol the night before, and not nearly enough water.<p>

The man, Kisame, had led me to a room at the end of a really long hallway. I would be sharing a room with him and his partner, whose name I had already forgotten, until their leader figured out what to do with me. When I asked why I couldn't have my own room, he laughed once more and then, very seriously, told me that anyone else in this organization would kill me on the spot.

"Oh," was all I could say.

This entire situation was definitely out of my comfort zone.

Our roommate wasn't there when we arrived, but Kisame made it a point to tell me I would be sleeping in between the two, on the floor.

"There's no way either of us are giving up our beds for you," he said with his toothy grin. "And we can't exactly stick you in a corner, because it would be easier for you to escape if we couldn't directly see you. Not that you'd be able to, it just makes our job easier."

"So this is basically a hostage situation?"

"Basically."

"Listen, I can get you whatever you want. Money, drugs, women – men? You name it. At the snap of my fingers, I just have to call my manager and he'll be right over and we can sort this all out. Better than whatever your leader plans to do, right?"

This just earned me another amused laugh. It was like this guy was constantly making fun of me without having to say anything.

"We don't want any of that, short stuff. How about you make yourself comfortable and get used to your new home?"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Excuse me?"

And then I swung at his jaw.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: <strong>This story is going to be about ten chapters long with an epilogue, so the chapters might be a bit packed, but it's just something to get my brain rolling.

I hope you enjoyed, please review!


	2. Substance

**Chapter Two**

_So come right in, 'cause everybody sins; welcome to the scene of the crime  
><em>_You want it? Believe it. We got it if you need it  
><em>_The devil is a friend of mine_

I will never find the words to describe how fast Kisame had me pinned to the ground.

One second, my fist was aimed for his jaw. The next, it was enclosed in his own as he flung me to the ground. My back hit the cement with a disgusting crack, pain shooting all over my body as the shark man jumped on top of me and grabbed me by the throat.

What the actual fuck was going on!

"No one should be able to move like that," I gasped, though my voice was strained due to the lack of oxygen.

"You act like you've never seen a ninja before," Kisame said, releasing my throat and allowing a nice fresh batch of air to run through my lungs.

"Sure I have," I replied. "In movies, or video games. Real ninja? _Hah._ I think you've got your time eras mixed up."

"What are you talking about right now?" he replied, standing up fully but still hovering over me like a watch dog. "Ninja. The main source of protection for the citizens of the hidden villages? The fighters of the world? _The most popular job there is_?"

" Doesn't ring a bell."

Kisame looked down at his wrist to check the time, but gave an aggravated growl when he realized he wasn't wearing a watch. (What a dumbass)

"Itachi should be back soon," he replied, acting as if I didn't notice the small gesture. "He can watch you while me and Leader…talk about this."

"Talk about what?" I tried standing up, but as soon as I gained any sort of balance Kisame's foot came barreling into my stomach and knocked me down again with an 'oomph.'

"The fact that I'm having an absolute idiot living in my room," he said, a serious expression shining through his eyes for the first time since I'd woken up. "Now, get in the shower. You reek."

* * *

><p>"Woah."<p>

I was towel drying my hair as I walked back into the main bedroom when I heard Kisame's voice. I looked up to see his beady eyes gawking at me, as if finally seeing me for the first time.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "I'm just surprised. I actually didn't think there could be a living person under all that filth."

"Are you calling me pretty?" I smirked. I had put my shorts, bra, and jacket back on, since those were the only clothes I had, so I still felt kind of dirty. But my body was clean, my face was clean, and – most important – my hair no longer looked like it had been soaked in grease.

Kisame twitched, shook his head, and laughed at me again.

"So," I asked, dropping the towel on the floor instead of putting it back in the bathroom where it belonged. "Did you guys happen to find my purse with me when you found me?"

"I don't know, I'm not the one who found you," he replied, taking a seat on his bed and leaning against the wall in a bored looking manner. "Why? Something important in there?"

"Oh, nothing. It'd just be nice to have my stuff."

And by stuff, I meant my drugs. Or the flask of rum I had stashed in the inside pocket. Even the cough drops at the bottom of my wallet would have been better than nothing.

I needed substance.

I just wasn't the best at admitting it.

"Uh huh. I'll ask Leader when I see him after Itachi gets back," he grumbled, closing in his eyes. "Where is that Weasel anyways?"

I shrugged, just watching him from my position near the bathroom door. He looked like he was about to fall asleep any second, but I thought it'd be best to give him the benefit of the doubt when it came to sneaking off. Besides, if what Kisame said was true – that any other member of the organization would kill me in an instant – then I didn't want to risk it. I may not have had many brain cells left, but I wasn't that stupid.

I had experience in situations like these, as horrible as it sounds. One time after a show, I had gone outside for a smoke and wound up in the back of some guy's van by the end of the night. I had eventually convinced him that twenty thousand big ones would pay off much nicer than keeping me as his own personal play thing, and that he wouldn't even go to jail if he took the money rather than if he got caught hoarding me in his basement.

It wasn't as easy as that, though. It had taken a lot of convincing, a lot of screaming and crying c, a lot of fighting and knocking each other over to come to that point. I think once he realized I wasn't worth the struggle, he caved. But it was still fucking scary as hell.

I wanted to laugh out loud as I thought of Dan's cliché line of thinking, _everything happens for a reason_. Maybe the reason I had been kidnapped then was to help me in the situation I was in, being trapped in some weird building with a blue man and a suspicious leader; back then, I had just thought the experience was a good enough reason to write a suspenseful single and call it a day. (Not that I made much off the single, anyways. Most of the profits that came back to me went straight to the therapist's pocketbook)

_You will know me by the scars I bare,  
>You will know me by the hate I swear<br>You will know me by the scars I bare_

"Can you stop that noise?" Kisame asked, snapping me out of my trance. I hadn't even realized I had started drumming on the wall, playing the melody as I sang to myself in my head. "And you don't have to stand there all awkwardly. You can sit down."

"Okay."

"Just not on the beds," he grinned.

"Fuck you."

Instead of walking to where I would apparently be sleeping, I just sat down by the bathroom door and leaned my head against the wall. It seemed like we were waiting there for hours before I fell asleep.

I woke up to a man with rather large red eyes, dressed in a black cloak that matched Kisame's, staring at me from his spot on his bed.

"I assume you're Itachi."

He didn't respond, only continued to stare at me.

"Is Kisame gone?"

Nothing.

"Alright. Then I'm taking his bed."

I wished I had waited to shower, just so I could rub my filth all over his comforter.

* * *

><p>I had woken up right before I hit the ground.<p>

"I said the floor, maggot," I heard Kisame say from above me. I had wacked my head on the floor, feeling the bump from the impact form automatically on my forhead. With a grunt, I sat up so I was sitting on my knees, and rubbed my head.

"What was that for?"

"I just told you. Besides," I felt something hit me on the back of the head. "To think I went through all the trouble to get this for you, just so you could infect my sheets with your disgusting germs."

I turned around and immediately grinned at the sight of my purse. I was on my knees faster than the two criminals could blink, yelling something about a toilet break and locking myself in the bathroom. I heard Kisame mumble something about how strange women were, but I let the insult go because at that moment nothing else mattered except getting rid of my sobriety.

I popped three pills, crushed three more, chugged half my flask, and used a cough drop as a mint to wash the taste away.

"I look so weird," I mumbled to myself in the mirror, checking out my face from all angles. "Hm." I opened my purse again and pulled out my make up bag, slathering on some black eye shadow and mascara. I grinned, took another cough drop – for some reason thinking that it could substitute for brushing my teeth, and unlocked the bathroom door.

"Took you long enough," I heard Kisame grumble. "Woah. Did something happen to you in there? You look like you're glowing."

"Probably because I am," I said with a smile. I took in Kisame's appearance one more time, shivered, and made my way over to my spot on the floor between the two beds. "So, how did the meeting with your superhero go?"

"My what?"

"Superhero. I mean, you said your leader had these awesome powers. Like a superhero, right?"

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yes. Now answer my question. How was the meeting? Has my fate been decided yet?"

"You're to stay here until tomorrow morning," Kisame replied. "Me and Itachi are supposed to take shifts watching you, but since he stays in here most of the time anyways, it'll probably just be just him. I can't stand being locked up in one place too long, and Itachi likes to stay away from the rest of the organization as much as possible – isn't that right?"

"Hn," the red eyed man replied, still watching me intently from over the long neck of his cloak.

"Wow, you can actually make noise," I said, applauding him before turning back to Kisame. "So, what happens tomorrow?"

"The entire organization is going to briefed on your presence and instructed not to kill you."

"And what do I have to do?"

"Just stand there and don't talk," Itachi answered for him. I looked at him, in awe of the smoothness of his voice, how calm and collected he was for such a scary looking man. (Not that I could see much of him, anyways, but red eyes were definitely a sign of trouble) _He'd make a good singer,_ I thought dreamily. _Probably better than me. _"Try not to even move, if you can. You're creating enough of a commotion as it is."

"Commotion? How? I've been trapped inside this room all day."

"You'll find out tomorrow."

I nodded in response as Kisame bid us farewell. He was apparently leaving the base for a little while, going to go explore the town. I just laughed at him, calling him out on the fact that he was going to go get drunk and buy a girl for as many hours as he could afford, only to come back wishing he had enough for just _one more hour._ He had stared at me, appalled, as if I had no common sense at all.

"Please," I scoffed, picking off the black paint on my thumb nail, specifically trying to create some kind of butterfly shape. "It's obvious."

Well, it's obvious to someone like me, who lives and breathes that kind of stuff, but I wasn't going to point that out yet. I was going off the assumption that they really didn't know who I was, even though my name and face had been plastered over the internet and television all over the world for the past year, and I didn't want to give it away incase it worked in my advantage later. I wanted to see the pained expressions on their faces when they realized I could hire the best lawyer that money could buy and sue them out of house and home.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking, because even in my drug-induced state I knew there was something awfully fishy about the situation I was in. Ninjas, leaders with weird powers, a talking shark, and a man with red eyes? Something was going on here. Something strange.

But it was so much easier to blame it on the high than actually thinking about what was about to happen to me.

I let out a squeal of joy and held my thumb up to the light. _A perfect butterfly! _

"Don't think you're fooling anyone," I heard Itachi's smooth voice say. I took my eyes off the butterfly design on my finger and directed them towards the man on the bed, who was _still _staring at me. I hadn't seen him blink once since I woke up, and it was a little unnerving to say the least.

"With what?"

He nodded towards my purse.

"The pills at the bottom of the bag. The flask hidden in the inside pocket. The lighter that you slipped into a small hole at the bottom, with…" he inhaled, "…meth hidden under the fluid container."

"H-h-how did you know that?" I asked, my eyes wide. I could feel the sweat forming on my forhead, my nerves getting the best of me – _Oh god, he's going to call the cops!_ I thought, before immediately calming when I remember this was an organization of criminals. He probably made drugs for a living, that's how he could sniff it out so easily.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I don't want it near me. Throw it out."

And then the relief faltered and panic came crawling back.

* * *

><p>"I need to file a missing persons report."<p>

The man behind the counter scrunched his nose at the boy at front of him and pulled out a stack of papers.

"Name?"

"Katharine Davis."

"Full name."

"That is her full name."

"No middle name?"

"Obviously not!" Andy snapped, smacking his hands down on the table in frustration. He hadn't slept since the show, and it was evident on his face; the dark purple bags he usually carried under his eyes were much deeper and much more vivid than usual, his brown hair had been pulled back in a messy ponytail, and his eyeliner had both faded and smudged, given him an even crazier look than he usually had.

"I'm going to need to calm down, son," the officer said, smacking his gums. "Age?"

"Nineteen."

"How long has she been missing for?"

"Thirty-three hours."

The man nodded and continued with his question. Hair color? Eye color? Ethnicity? What was she wearing the day she disappeared? When was the last time she was seen? Does she have a history of drug abuse? Any enemies? What about family? The list went on and on, and Andy was so tired by the time he made it back to the tour bus that he ignored all the questions his members had to offer him and went straight for the couch.

* * *

><p>"I can't just throw it out!" I yelled at him, grabbing my purse and holding it to my chest protectively.<p>

"You will."

"No, I refuse!"

I saw the flash of anger in his eyes and got up and ran towards the bathroom, as if I could somehow lock myself in there and be safe. I should have expected him to have just as good as reflex's as Kisame, if not better, but I wasn't thinking clearly. Itachi had appeared in front of me right before I made it to the door, grabbing me by the pressure point in my shoulders. I dropped in my knees, paralyzed by pain, and watched as my purse dropped to the ground and spilled the contents onto the floor.

He held me by my pressure point while he picked up my pills, my lighter, unzipped the pocket and took my flask, and even took my pack of cigarettes. He let go of me, stood up, threw my stuff into the air –

And blew a gust of fire out of his mouth, setting it all aflame in a powerful explosion.

"I hate you," I said, burying my face in my hands. "I hate you so much."

"You'll hate me more once you lose your high," he replied calmly, before grabbing the towel I had previously thrown on the floor and entering the bathroom himself. I waited until I heard the shower running before running over to the ashes and shifting through it to see if anything could be saved, but there was nothing.

"ASSHOLE!" I yelled, banging on the bathroom door, not caring how crazy I sounded to anyone else nearby. "Let me in so I can fucking kill you!"

There was a time in my life where I could handle being sober – back in elementary school when I still thought life was perfect and there was no way there could be anything wrong with the world, especially my family. Then my Dad left and my mom turned to drugs, which left me to inevitably follow in her footsteps and become the person I am today.

Except I'd like to make myself believe that I was more well put together than she was.

My actions, however, contradicted this completely, because any sane person would have been scared shitless about the fact that this insane criminal had released fire from the back of his throat like a fucking dragon, but all my dumb ass could think about was that the fire had destroyed my supply. And instead of dealing with the fact that I was out like a mature adult, I was banging on the bathroom door of said criminal, cursing like a sailor.

"I swear to God if you do not open this door I'll break it down myself and shove it so far up your ass you split in two!"

* * *

><p>Kisame had arrived back at the hideout at around three in the morning, and had expected to return to his bed for a peaceful night of sleep.<p>

Instead, he had opened the door to his room and found Pein's hostage curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth in the corner of the bedroom.

"Itachi? What's going on?"

"She believes there are giant spiders hiding underneath your bed," his partner said in his signature, monotone voice. Kisame cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm being serious."

"You guys," the two turned towards the girl, who had spoken in a voice barley over a whisper. "Be quiet. You're going to wake them up."

Kisame nodded slowly, not quite understanding what was going on. The girl had seemed at least a little sane before; sure, trying to punch him certainly wasn't a rash thing to do, but she had no idea who she was dealing with at the time, and she quickly stopped trying to fight afterwards. But now… looking at her, curled up in a ball with her black hair sheilding her face, he saw nothing but a child in a woman's body.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked quietly, trying not to distrub her already distrubed form.

"She's high," his partner responded just as calmly as he would any other situation. "She over exerted her energy trying to attack me because I destroyed her supply, and eventually the stress turned her once pleasant mood into – "

"A bad trip."

"Is that what you'd call it?"

Kisame nodded.

"What would leader want with a drug addict?"

"We won't know until morning," Itachi replied with a sigh, getting off his bed and walking over to the girl on the floor. He placed his hand over her mouth before she could scream, lifted her head and looked straight into her eyes, knocking her out with his Sharigan in an instant. "I just hope Leader doesn't expect us to continue to play babysitter. I'm already growing tired of her."


	3. Hollywood Whore

**Corrina:**I'm glad you like it, & thank you so much for constantly reviewing! It really does mean so much to me - it makes me feel like people are actually reading this, even if it's just you and a few others. :)

**Ktizle13:** Yesss! I love hearing that. I think this chapter has more interaction - everyone is finally introduced, and there's even a bonding moment with Deidara. I think I may have slipped with keeping the character's in character though, but I can just blame creative liberty if the problem ever becomes too bad! Thank you so much for reviewing!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

_Smokin' in the boys room, I was smokin; in the boys room  
>Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules<br>Everybody knows that smokin' aint allowed in school_

I woke up in a fit. My body was sweating buckets, my brain hurt, the back of my throat was dry, and my skin was incredibly itchy.

I wanted to scream, but instead I turned over and muffled the noise with the dirt floorboards to prevent from waking up my so-called roommates, if they were even awake.

I didn't remember much from last night, except trying to lure Itachi out of the bathroom for about an hour before he threw me against a wall and threatened to torture me. Then my trip took an unexpected turn and suddenly there were beady little spider eyes poking out from underneath Kisame's bed, daring me to say anything at all.

"Do you realize how many germs are probably on that floor?" I heard Kisame's voice from above me. "And to think they're all entering your system right now through your mouth. Disgusting."

"Shut up," I grumbled, feeling a twist in my stomach and lurching forward to wrap my arms around my belly. "Ugh."

"What's wrong with you? Are you already dying on us?" He sighed at my lack of response. "Come on, kid. It's time to meet the rest of the organization."

But I couldn't move. My head hurt too bad, I felt like I was going to vomit – I hadn't eaten in what, two days?, and I had sweated out any water I had retained in my system. I heard Kisame grumble something to himself about how much trouble I was and that his leader better have had a plan for me that would benefit _every single member_ of the organization, but I was too sick to respond. I just let him pick me up, throw me over his shoulder, and take me out of the room.

* * *

><p>Pein wasn't as scary as I imagined him.<p>

Sure, he had a lot of piercings than I did (and I had a _lot_), and his eyes were strangely colored but Kisame had scarier looks than him. It wasn't so much the looks, though, that gave off the fear, as it was the attitude.

However, I was way too sick to pay attention to this attitude. I just sat in my chair in front of the entire organization of freaks like a good girl, trying not to vomit all over there floor as they talked about me like I wasn't even there.

All I had managed to get out of the meeting was that not only did (1) Toby find a prize (whoever the hell Toby was), but (2) this prize was the work of some evil mastermind who had apparently had a habit of stealing girls from their homes in odd ways, and (3) this prize was to be protected at all costs until the man who had stolen it was found, interrogated, and disposed of, not matter how annoying it was.

Oh, and (4) vomit is only water and acid when you have no food in your system.

"Before, there had always been a reason for Hishibi choosing a girl," Pein went on, acting as if he couldn't hear the gagging noises I was making from choking on my own vomit. _So much for protection,_ I thought with annoyance. _I'm going to die right here. _"She had always been benefited him in some way other than lust. Whether it be power, balance, whatever he needed at the time, the girl had some importance. We have to act as if this girl," he placed his hand on top of my head, which in the end only added dizziness to my ever pounding headache. "Is important, because there's a high chance she is."

I heard a burst of laughter fill the room.

"As if!"

"She doesn't look strong at all, yeah."

_No shit Sherlock Holmes, I'm dying!_

"The only thing she'd be good at is making a good sacrifice."

"I'm done with this conversation," Pein said, his voice high and mighty but smooth and flat at the same time. "You will do as you're told, or you will be punished."

"Yes, Leader."

"Where will she stay?" I heard a voice ask from the group. I looked up and met blue eyes the same shade as mine, only half visible underneath blonde hair. He smirked at me, bright white teeth blocking my vision and causing me to hold my stomach tighter and look down again.

He was kind of cute.

The thought made my stomach churn and the vomit rise, but she swallowed it this time instead of embarrassing myself even more.

"She will continue to stay with Itachi and Kisame for the time being. Any more questions?"

I raised my hand as if this was High School and not some strange hostage situation.

"Yes?"

"I need water and food." And drugs and cigarettes and maybe a sip of booze. "Or I'm gonna die."

The vomit didn't make it back down my throat this time, decorating the floor instead.

* * *

><p>Kisame brought me to a small makeshift kitchen, no bigger than the one that we had on our tour bus. I sat at the counter top, my head leaning against it for support, as Kisame sorted through the cupboards.<p>

"Here you go." He dropped a water jug and a bowl of rice in front of me. I inhaled both without taking a single breath as the shark men went on and on about what a hindrance I was to his training schedule, and that he wouldn't let himself grow weak just to play babysitter. Therefore I had two choices; I could either sit on the sidelines and watch him and Itachi battle it out for a good six hours, or I could find someone else to follow around for the day.

"You said anyone else here would probably kill me," I said, rubbing in temples in attempt to ease my growing migraine. "So do I really have a choice in the matter?"

He shrugged. "Now that they know Leader wants them to protect you, the chances of that happened have been lowered considerably."

"But there's still a chance?"

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Deidara had found them in a forest clearing two miles away from the hideout. Leader had to talk to Itachi and Kisame about an upcoming visit to the leaf – apparently, Chuunin exams were happening and it was as good of a time as ever to capture the village's demon child.<p>

"Hey," the blonde interrupted just as Itachi was about to strike, and the two partners fell short of their attacks quickly.

"What is it?" Itachi asked boredly. It was no secret that he and the blonde didn't get along, and he wouldn't waste his time pretending to be interested in whatever childish things he had to say.

"Leader wants you."

"What are we going to do with her?" Kisame asked, pointing his sword off to the side. Deidara's eyes followed in the same direction, taking sight of the girl he had found just two days before. She was lying on her stomach, her face in the dirt and her arms over her head, her hair cascading down to her mid-back. He had to admit there was something attractive about her – maybe it was the fact that the built up years of sexual frustration could make any female attractive, or maybe it was that, besides her jacket, because she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Watch her," Itachi commanded the blonde. Itachi had always been quick to assert his authority over the blonde, seeing him as nothing but a child – a mere nuisance to the organization if it hadn't been for his clay bombs.

The two were out of sight before Deidara had time to even respond.

He kneeled down next to the girl just as he had the day he found her, and poked her in the forehead. "Hey, wake up." He took a breath. "You don't smell today, yeah."

She swatted his hand away with a moan and continued to lay with her face buried in the dirt.

"What's wrong with you, yeah?"

KK turned her head to the side so that blue eyes met blue. She had to prevent herself from smirking, not expecting to be stuck with the cute boy from earlier, but this small fact already had the gears rolling in her head and a plan of perfect manipulation forming.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

KK couldn't prevent the smirk this time; if there was one thing that was good about teenage boys, it was how easy they were manipulated by the sight of a girl. Even if she wasn't the most attractive girl in the world, she at least had some umph to her that drew all of her groupies in. (It may have been the singing voice, too, but she couldn't really play at that here)

"Why does it matter?" he asked, slightly suspicious of the girl who had brought herself to her knees and had begun to brush the knots out of her hair with her fingers.

"It doesn't," she replied. "I was just curious because you look so young, made me wonder what you were doing in a place like this."

The agitated expression that lit his face was a sign that she was going in the right direction, that he was unhappy being here, that he was somehow discontent with his life – and when teenagers were discontent with their lives, they were more apt to change it.

She had pushed the conversation in the right direction, and eventually convinced the bomber that maybe leaving the base for a few hours could do him good. He looked skeptical, of course, and accused her of an escape plan, but she simply looked at him as if he was the biggest idiot she had ever met and asked him how exactly she'd be able to escape under his watch.

"I'm not a …. Ninja," she said, the word still feeling foreign on her tongue. "I'm sick, my head hurts. Kisame had me pinned down in .02 seconds last time I tried anything funny. I just…" she looked down at her chest, brushing some dirt off it in a dramatic pause before looking back up at him. His eyes followed, and he noticed the tattoos that ran up the side of her stomach and off her shoulders onto her chest. The rest were covered by her jacket. "Need clothes." Drugs. "And somewhere to clear my head." Somewhere to take the drugs. "This place is driving me insane." Withdrawals are going to be the death of me. "And I can tell it's driving you crazy, too."

"I leave on missions all the time, yeah. I'm not trapped here like you."

"But when was the last time you left on your _own free will_?"

"Come on," he grabbed her wrist. "We're going to talk to leader and then we're going to get you clothes."

The sound of just leaving the hideout for a day did sound tempting, even if it was just to babysit a little brat, but he couldn't just leave without telling Pein. Pein was much scarier than freedom was tempting.

* * *

><p>Pein had approved – to the surprise of both of us – saying it would be easier for me to adjust if I was given more freedom. I think a big part of it was that he knew there was no way I could escape Deidara if I tried, and that Deidara would never disobey him, so there was no reason to keep us locked up when we could be just as safe out of his hair.<p>

"Be on watch, though," he said as we were leaving. "We are not aware of those who know of her existence yet. There could be trouble. I'm putting my faith in you, Deidara. If you let me down…"

There was a silent threat hanging off his last statement that we both caught, but wouldn't further question.

If Pein wasn't scary this morning, he was definitely scary now.

We had left the hideout on some sort of giant bird contraption…thing. I don't even know how to describe it, honestly. If it wasn't for the nasty withdrawal symptoms I was facing I would have sincerely thought I was tripping out. It took Deidara a good ten minutes to convince me to get on that thing, and even then his form of "convincing" was throwing me over his shoulder and telling me to not be such a pussy.

He was an absolute charmer.

I spent the entire ride glued to his arm, yelling profanities and asking him why he couldn't just pay for a plane ticket and steal the money back later or something. He looked at me oddly, asked me what a plane was, and I almost fell off the bird in complete shock.

"What is wrong with you people?" I yelled. "Ninjas? Secret hideouts? You don't know what airplanes are? Let me guess, you've never driven a car either?"

"What's that?"

"OH MY GOD."

* * *

><p>Besides some short intermissions, I'd like to think we made it to the town in record time. Deidara made his bird disappear, I regained my composure, and the two of us made our way into the village so I could sniff out clothes.<p>

I tried to find the shadiest, back alley clothing stores I could find. I bought a rather large black sweater at the first, some black stockings at the second, and didn't really luck out until we hit the third store. Deidara was complaining about how long and boring this was, and how watching me shop didn't seem so much like "freedom" to him. He wanted to check out a clay shop a few blocks down, and it was almost impossible to convince him to wait for me to check out the "clothes" at this store before we went to look at his playdoh.

I don't think calling his precious "art" playdoh helped my case much, but he stayed nonetheless.

"I'm not going inside, yeah," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest like an angry child. "So hurry up."

Which just worked to my advantage even more?

I don't know how I knew, but I had a feeling after reading the sign outside that said "Active supporters of the Village Police Force" that there was something fishy about the place. The owner must have been sucking up to someone, because no other store had a sign like that.

And I was right. They were sucking up.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

The most obvious places are the easiest to hide.

I used the rest of the money Pein had spared, which wasn't a lot, on whatever I could get my hands on – which was only a pack of cigarettes and two bottles of… I don't even know - and popped four pills before I even left the store.

My head was spinning as I took in Deidara's face, which seemed a lot more vivid than it had before. I could see almost every pour – his face was so clean, so wrinkle free. Even though he was my age, he looked so young compared to me; I had bags that were so large they could be their own country forming under my eyes and wrinkles for days.

"Your skin looks so smooth."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," I grinned. "Let's go to your playdoh shop."

"_Clay_!" he growled.

We didn't make it to the clay shop, however, because on our way there I saw a place that I had been subconsciously dreaming about since I woke up in this strange place. I could already feel the beat forming in my head, my fingers began strumming on their own accord, and I raced into the music store as if I was greeting some long lost love.

"What are you doing!" Deidara grumbled. "I swear this is the last time I'm watching you. Kisame and Itachi can deal with you until – "

"You said you loved art, right?" I asked, picking up a red and black acoustic from its stand and sitting down on a nearby stool. "Well, music is art."

"Music? Art? As if," he said. "True art is a bang. Music? You can't hold it, you can't touch it; and if you can't hold or touch it, if there's no substance, then there's no explosion."

"Are you saying you've never been to a concert before?" I asked as I begun to tune the guitar. "Those… at least _mine_, always start an end with a bang."

I had already started playing before he could respond, leading into the first verse of one of my least favorite songs. It was a good song, don't get me wrong, and it landed us a lot of publicity, but Rob had wrote it about me at a time when our band was truly falling apart, and we couldn't be within one hundred feet of each other without tearing each other apart.

_Cocaine nose and trendy clothes, gotta send her to rehab  
>She found out she's got no soul but it really doesn't bother her<br>White trash queen, American dream, oh what a role model  
>Throwing a fit, making a scene like no tomorrow <em>

I looked up at Deidara after I finished the first verse. He was staring at me oddly, as if I had done something completely and utterly confusing rather than just singing a song.

"Keep playing, yeah."

I shrugged, and picked up where I left off. I sang the chorus, then the second verse which really set me over the edge because I could just see Rob's face glaring at me the first day he played the song for us. He made it a point to let everyone know – Dan, Andy, Tim, our producers and sponsors – that the song was one hundred percent about me.

_Awake by noon, drunk by four, sucked up in the showbiz  
>You're so lame, you're such a bore, I wanna kick your teeth in<em>

I finished the song and looked at Deidara.

"So?"

"Music's still not art," he replied, turning around and heading towards the door.

I grumbled and put the guitar back where I found it, thanking the store owner on the way out, who just looked at me as if I was a walking ghost. _What!_ I wanted to snap, but refrained myself and walked out with the blonde who was once again complaining about how he was never going to watch me again. I didn't care much, though. Playing music only intensified my high; making me feel like life was perfect and it could never get any better.

Completely ignoring the fact that was I was in a strange place with a strange man and would once again be confined in a room with a red eyed man and a rather tall shark by the end of the night.

* * *

><p>Deidara led me straight to Kisame and Itachi's room when we got back to the base. It was around nightfall when we returned, and I was completely exhausted from running around all day. We hadn't spoken since the ride back, in which I once again threw a fit about riding on his giant bird, some sort of unrest between the both of us for some strange reason.<p>

I don't know what his problem was though. One more pill and I felt completely fine.

"That song you sang," he finally spoke as we neared the bedroom door. "Did you write it?"

I shook my head. "No. My bassist did."

"Oh."

"Why?"

He shrugged, knocked on the door, and left without answering my question.

I watched as he walked down the hall, not bothering to look back once, and just sighed to myself.

"Welcome back," I heard Kisame say from behind me, but I didn't bother responding. All I needed was a good shower and a full night's sleep.

And then I remembered I was sleeping on the floor.

_Fuck!_

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning and immediately made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door, made my way to the bathtub, turned on the water and filledthe tub up with soap to drown out the smell of cigarettes that were about to fill the room.<p>

I began to hum the tune to "Smoking in the Boys Room" as I sat on the edge of the tub and lit up. The entire situation made me feel like I was in High School again, trying to evade the evil teacher that was Itachi.

I put out my cigarette and flushed it down the toilet, added extra soap to the water and even sprayed some air freshener I found underneath the counter. I crushed two pills, wanting to make sure I had enough to last me at least until tomorrow, snorted, and left the bathroom –

Only to find Itachi standing right outside the door.

"Hey you!" I stuttered, putting my hand over the pocket that contained my pack. "What are you doing up this early?"

He only held out his hand, and I let out a small "eep" noise.

"What? You want me to um… shake it?"

He shook his head once. No.

"Well, it's getting kind of late… maybe I should wake Kisame up, get him ready for the day?"

"If you weren't too busy killing yourself," he replied dully. "Then you would have noticed that Kisame already left."

"Oh."

"Now hand it over."

"Why? Why why why why!" I yelled, throwing my cigarettes on the ground. "What? Why! Tell me why! You're a criminal for crying out loud, and I don't know about you, but every criminal I've ever met at least smoked a few cigarettes!"

"You're destroying your body," he said, picking up the pack and crushing it with one hand. "I'm simply…" he closed his eyes for a second, letting the smallest smile rest on his face before reopening them. "_Protecting _you."

I let out an aggravated scream, pushed passed him, and buried my face on the floor so he couldn't see the wild grin that had taken over my face.

He hadn't noticed the pills.

* * *

><p>Oops, I forgot to say what other songs I was using in the other two chapters - though I don't think I used too many. Hollywood Whore and Smoking in the Boys Room belong to their respective owners, along with Naruto. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SONGS IN THIS STORY UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.<p>

Enough of a disclaimer for the rest of the story, I hope. Review!


	4. Change

**Chapter Four**

_My head is always spinning from this dizzy blurry vision and my stomach has had enough  
>I feel like a lady that is pregnant with a baby 'cause I'm always throwing up<em>

He knew.

He had to have known.

I couldn't think of any other logical reason why he'd be doing this to me right now. Why he would drag me out of the comfort of our room and back to the training ground.

With nobody to train with but me.

I had been putting on my new clothes when Itachi had snuck up behind me and very subtly asked me if I planned on wasting the organizations money by ruining my clothes the first day I had them. When I asked him what he had meant, he had grabbed me by my wrist and led me back to the forest.

"First," he said, monotone as always, his red eyes staring at me over the collar of his cloak. "Endurance."

"Excuse me?"

"Run."

I looked at him strangely – did he really expect me to run? I hadn't properly exercised in years, unless flipping around onstage counts as an exercise. Sex was about all the endurance training I got, honestly, and I had been a little out of practice seeing as I'd been stuck in God knows where for the past few days.

"No."

Itachi was suddenly in front of me, breathing down my neck. I glared up at him angrily, putting on a mask of fearlessness when in reality this man scared me more than all the rest.

"Then I'll make you."

The same ball of fire that had destroyed everything I had loved within the contents of my purse was now spiraling towards my head. I yelped and did just what they taught you in elementary school; stop, drop, and roll.

"What the hell!"

And the cycle continued to repeat itself.

I was sprinting through the trees, dropping when the flames got too close, cursing Itachi the entire time. My stomach was on the verge of exploding all over the forest, my headache was returning, my muscles were trembling, and if I wasn't careful I was going to start hallucinating.

"Itachi!" I screamed, dodging the next fire ball by diving behind a tree. I was covered in mud, leaves, grass. Anything gross and nature-y had found its way to my body. I was never one for being clean, I could go days without a shower, but this was way too much for even me to handle.

He appeared in front of me. I looked up at him, glaring.

"What's the point of this!"

I grabbed my stomach just as I felt the vile start to rise.

"That's the point," he said, staring down at me. "I was going easy on you. I acted the same way I did as a child when I used to play tag with my three year old brother. Anyone – even weak civilians such as yourself – would have been able to evade my fire balls without breaking a sweat. Yet here you are, on the ground, convulsing as if someone had ripped all your organs from your body."

"Why do you care anyways!" I spat, bringing myself to my knees, my hands still wrapped around my stomach. "Just like Pein said – I'm nothing but a prize. The only thing you're supposed to protect me from is whoever the hell brought me here, isn't that right?"

"Exactly," he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. It was obvious that he was frustrated. "And what happens if for some reason you get separated from Akatsuki? We have no idea who we're dealing with right now. What happens if you're guard is down and you somehow get caught? How are you supposed to keep yourself alive until someone comes to help you if _you can't even run?_"

"But you guys are fast and strong - I've seen it firsthand! You're guard is never down! You could smell the drugs in my back even though they were hidden away in a metal container. I mean… even this morning. You knew exactly what I was doing before I did it, didn't you?"

I gulped as he squatted down so we were at eye level. The red of his eyes began to fade, and eventually I was staring back at black orbs that looked more sad than blood thirsty.

"What did you just do?"

"I let my guard down."

* * *

><p>We got back to the room and I handed him the pills without him even having to ask. I hopped in the shower, scrubbing the dirt off of me and re-dressing myself in the over sized sweater and stockings I had bought the other day with Deidara. I took the time to wash my boots as well, since they were covered in dried mud and grass and even a few dead bugs, which was just fucking disgusting.<p>

When I was finished Itachi was gone and Kisame had replaced him. The shark man was sitting on his bed, a bowl of rice in his lap, motioning towards another bowl that was on my spot on the floor.

"I keep forgetting to feed you," he said with a laugh.

"Yeah," I replied, sitting down and holding the bowl up to my face. The smell of it made my stomach churn, and I set it back on the floor. My head was spinning thanks to the asshole who had dragged me out of bed and chased me around a forest only to tell me it was for my own good.

I highly doubted that. I bet he got off to the thought of watching people squirm as he tried to set them on fire, only to later trick them into thinking it was their fault for being the way they were. I mean, was he actually trying to say he cared about my well being? No, probably not. It was just his job to keep me safe and make sure I could escape from whoever the hell was after me if necessary.

Somebody actually _caring._ Now that was a joke.

I rubbed my temples and sighed.

"What's up buttercup?" I heard Kisame asked. "Does the doggy need a treat?"

I looked up at him.

"The fuck did you just call me?"

My reaction caused a fit of laughter to escape from his mouth, followed by his signature toothy grin that wasn't as creepy as it should have been. Thinking about it, Kisame had this really friendly aura about him, which was odd for someone who was supposed to be dangerous. He was scary when he needed to be, but when he didn't… Well, in different circumstances, I think we could have been great friends.

"I'm just saying it kind of feels like you're more of a pet than anything else… Having to feed you, watch you, and take you on walks… it's all so tiring."

Yeah. Nevermind.

We could have never been friends.

* * *

><p>"Breaking news: Popular front woman Katharine "KK" Davis of the band <em>Bring Our Salvation<em> has gone mission. She had allegedly disappeared after the third stop on her world tour outside the bar _Evolve _near Boston. More details to come."

"Did you hear the news?" Andy asked into the phone speaker. He was currently standing in the middle of his and KK's shared apartment, clad in only his boxers, talking to Rob on the other end of the phone. The tour had ended, meaning the members were free to go home and do what they pleased until further notice, but Andy's home just wasn't _home_ without the obnoxious girl singing in the shower, banging on the windows, or snorting lines of the coffee table. No… it was just an empty apartment with a TV room and a messy, cramped bedroom.

"Yeah. It's about fucking time they put something up. I've been posting online about it for the past few days, but we only have so many fans who will actually look for her, you know? We need the fucking world – " _Bing._

"What was that?"

"Fucking Rachael has been blowing up my phone all morning. Don't you think she'd get the hint already?"

Andy shook his head and lit a cigarette. He could honestly care less about Rob's girl trouble at the moment – he was more concerned about the fact that he was going to be sleeping alone tonight. It just didn't sit right in his stomach. "I don't know man."

"Can I come over dude? I think she's going to try to see me and I just. Ugh. I can't right now."

"Yeah, of course. I'm about to shower but I'll leave the door unlocked."

Problem solved.

* * *

><p>"So tell me about your life back… hm, wherever you came from," Deidara asked me the next day as we sat at the kitchen counter.<p>

"Um… " I responded, taking a bite of rice and reminding myself not to chew with my mouth open. "What do you want to know?"

"You said you play music, yeah? Is that your job?"

"Yeah," I said. "Before I got here we were actually on a tour."

"Do you get paid good money?"

"I'm supposed to," I responded. "But the label kind of eats it up."

Deidara nodded, a confused expression visible in his one eye. I realized that he probably didn't know what a label was, but I didn't feel like elaborating. If he really wanted to know, he'd ask, but he kind of just sat there and watched me eat instead.

"What about art?"

"Entertainment is considered art where I'm from."

He scrunched up his face.

"That's dumb."

The conversation kind of carried from there, and I had to explain that entertainment was a big thing where I came from, how famous someone can get in such little time, how it affects them, etc. He seemed interested, at least a little bit. Of course he had to go on a long tangent about art and how nothing I could ever do as an entertainer could ever produce as great as a result as his masterpieces.

"I wish you could see one of my shows," I said, pushing my now-empty bowl in front of me and leaning on the counter with my elbows, my hands resting under my chin. "I'm sure you'd change your mind."

"If it's anything like that little display in the music store, then it won't, yeah."

I shook my head.

"Just trust me on this one. Our stage theatrics are so wild and crazy, something explodes every night. Sometimes they're on purpose, like we'll set off a bunch of fire crackers and have flames engulf the back of the stage at the beginning of our set, and I'll like propell from the ceiling or something, but a lot of the times our set just… malfunctions. It'd seem like bad luck for some, but it always works out better in the end. Gives a better performance."

"Fine. It's art," Deidara said after a long pause, picking up both our bowls and taking them to the sink. He turned around and glared at me, his one eye still shining through long locks of blonde. "But it's still stupid."

* * *

><p>"I don't understand why she hasn't shown up yet! Tell me!"<p>

The man who was yelling was rather large. Made of muscle, he stood at least six feet tall, with a rough five o'clock shadow and even rougher eyes. He was standing in front of the desk of a rather slender man who had his chaired turned towards the window, not bothering to look at the ignorant oaf as he blubbered nonsense.

"Trust me, Hayato," the slender man said. "She's here. I felt her presence the minute she entered this world. Did you not feel that moment of peace, when all the world seemed to stand still for a minute? The birds stopped singing, the window stopped howling, the heartbeat of every animal – including the people of this world – slowed and felt something they hadn't felt in their entire existence?"

Hayato nodded. "I thought that was just… something messing with my mind. A mentality brought on by the stress of her actually arriving."

"Yes, yes, I understand. But you do realize means I fulfilled my promise of bring her here, don't you? Now it's your job to repay me by finding her.

The bulky man nodded once, "Yes, sir," and left the room.

* * *

><p>Deidara walked me back to my room and once again left without saying goodbye. I opened the door to find the room completely empty – was I supposed to be by myself? I was sure it wouldn't hurt, so I didn't bother calling Deidara back.<p>

I slipped off my boots and crawled on the floor, sure that the few hours of sleep I would have gotten on Itachi or Kisame's bed wouldn't be worth the sore butt I'd wake up with when they threw me off it.

Eat, sleep, socialize for like .02 seconds, and then sleep again. What I would give for a cigarette.

My life had always seemed kind of pointless, but this was taking to a new extreme.

Sobriety had already started to take over, but it wasn't as scary as it once was. Sure, my head was pounding, and my hands were shaking a little, but the thought of Itachi and his black eyes kept me from going off the deep end. I didn't want another lecture, another reason for my brain to spin and me to contemplate what he actually meant. The withdrawals were so much better than that.

But sobriety, along with my conversation with Deidara, brought on new thoughts.

Thoughts of home.

Andy, Dan, Rob, Tim, Rachael, even my fans… I missed them, and I couldn't help but wonder how they were doing without me. Were they finishing the tour? Rob had the voice of an angel, he could have easily played bass and sung my songs.

They could all carry on without me, couldn't they?

_Would they?_

I sighed and let myself fall asleep.

Sobriety meant thinking.

And thinking was for pussies.

* * *

><p>The days went by in a blur of sickness. I'd wake up in the morning and immediately find myself hunched over the toilet, trying my best to keep my hair out of the vomit but utterly failing. I'd down a whole gallon of water in hopes of regaining my strength, but it was no use. All I could think of was getting something in my system, but I knew nothing good would come out of it.<p>

Never in my life had I had just a strong mindset to stop using. Sure, I've tried it a few times, but never to this extent. I'd usually give up by the end of the night, and find myself stranded in a bathroom or a closet or something, snorting and popping until the wee hours of the morning.

Did it really take some strange person in an even stranger place to change my ways?

My thoughts were cut off by another heave of vomit.

I felt someone pull by hair back, and I turned around to see Itachi with an annoyed expression plastered over his face.

I was always frustrating him, wasn't I?

"You woke me up."

I didn't bother to answer, turning my attention back to the toilet.

"Sorry," I muttered as he handed me a towel. "I couldn't keep it in any longer."

He nodded, as if understanding, before saying something about Deidara and Sasori leaving for a mission and not returning for at least two weeks. Apparently two others, Hidan and Kazuku, were returning from a scouting assignment about whoever had brought me here, and were returning today as well with new information; hopefully enough to get everything squared away and send me back to where I came from.

I just stared at him, not sure of what to say. He left the bathroom without waiting for my response.

I wished he'd just go away for good.


	5. Hell

**Chapter Five**

_Well you hurt where you sleep and you sleep where you lie_  
><em>Now you're in deep and now you're gonna cry<em>  
><em>You got a woman to your left and a boy to your right<em>  
><em>Start to sweat so hold me tight<em>

The two weeks Deidara was gone went by in the blur of sleeping and eating.

I hadn't realized how skinny I had gotten over the past few years until the food started filling me up and I began to look like an actual person instead of a skeleton. My bones that once stuck out in all directions were now halfway hidden; my cheeks, my collar, my hips - even my wrist bones had once been a lot more defined than most. It had took me this long to finally look in a mirror and realize how gross it looked, and how much better I could look if I was healthy.

I had officially met the rest of the Akatsuki as well. Kazuku was this old guy who had looked like he had been in one too many accidents and Hidan was a silver-haired version of Rob with just as bad of a mouth. Zetsu lived in a plant, and Tobi hid behind an orange mask that would have tripped me the fuck out if I hadn't have been completely sober.

I met Pein's girlfriend, too, and man was she pretty.

She gave me a kind of angry look, but only nodded at the pierced man in acknowledgement. I had a feeling deep down that she didn't like me, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Besides, I was used to people not liking me. There were at least twenty churches that had started to petitions to make me go away; they didn't want me touring in their town, or even appearing on their televisions. Too afraid that I would "infect their children."

Besides random run-ins with the members, in which I would either get into an argument or be forced to do some pointless chore, I spent most of my time in Itachi and Kisame's room writing songs in my head. For some reason they had just started flowing lately. I woke up with lyrics in my head and went to bed with the beat. I had asked Kisame if there was any way he could get me a notebook or paper or anything I could write on, and he laughed and threw me a roll of toilet paper.

So yeah. I was basically writing songs on toilet paper.

But it didn't really matter because god damn _I was writing songs! _For the first time in a little over a year, my inspiration was finally coming back.

Kisame and Itachi came and went with ease, not bothering to keep an eye on me at all times like they once did. They knew I wouldn't leave the room alone since I hadn't really gotten too acquainted with the rest of the members, and I had been feeling really awkward and out of place lately. My confidence resided in the bottle of a bottle, and it was slowly slipping away from me.

_There's a place that I've found, as far as I can see  
>This place lies within the depths of my dreams<em>

I was on the floor scribbling away when I heard a knock on the door. I was greeted by the familiar face of my blonde companion, who was standing with his arms behind his back in a rather awkward position.

"Has it been two weeks already?" I asked, tilting my head to the side in attempt to see what he was hiding.

He nodded and squinted his eyes, as if he was trying to get a better look at my face. "You look different, yeah."

"I gained weight," I replied, rubbing my now-chubby cheeks. "Does it look bad?"

Deidara didn't bother answering me, which kind of set off a feeling of discomfort in my stomach. I thought I was starting to look better, but I guess the extra meat on my bones wasn't as attractive as I thought. _Maybe I should cut back on the rice, _I thought, but immediately stopped that thought process from lingering. Who was I to ever care what people thought of me?

"I got you something," he said. "Don't take it personally, yeah. The shopkeeper was just going to throw it out and I thought it'd be put to better use in your hands than in the dumpster. Besides…" he trailed off, shoving the wooden object into my chest. I heard the strum of the beat as soon as it hit, and my face lit up in excitement. "I'm still waiting for you to prove to me that your art isn't dumb, yeah."

I couldn't hide the smile on my face, couldn't stop the squeal that came out of my throat as I set the guitar on the ground and embraced Deidara for the first time.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad I could get you all assembled at such short notice… As you know, it's been a little over two weeks since KK's disappearance. We've rightfully cancelled everything – the photo shoots, the signings, the rest of the tour – because we are, in fact, no one without our front woman. But we can't stay in this slump forever. And before you get your panties in a bunch, I'm not saying that we're going to stop looking for her. Hell, practically the entire world is looking for her right now, with technology these days she'll be found in no time. But… while she's gone, we're going to go broke unless we do something."<p>

"What are you saying right now?" Dan asked, infuriated. Tim sighed and adjusted his glasses.

"The label… while they are feeling deeply sympathetic about this whole ordeal, they've noticed the drastic amount of money they've just lost at the cancelled tour, and in order to fix this downfall they need to put you all on the road again."

"So what you're saying is…"

"…they want you to find a new singer."

Hell opened its fiery gates that Sunday morning, and Tim was surprised he made it out of the conference room alive.

* * *

><p>My days seemed to be starting to develop a routine.<p>

Kisame would bring me food in the morning and talk my head off about what a nuisance I was being for a good while before he left to go find Itachi. Deidara would come get me soon afterwards, and we'd spend our time talking about art or our lives before this wretched place.

Apparently Hidan and Kazuku hadn't found much information about whoever had brought me here, so Pein had said that there was no way I was leaving the base until they found out exactly what was going on.

"I feel so trapped sometimes," I told Deidara one morning. "When am I going to go home? Am I even able to go home? I mean... what happens to me after we find that guy?"

Deidara looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, and it made me want to vomit.

And then the day began to spiral and hell opened its fiery gates.

* * *

><p>I don't really remember how it happened.<p>

Somehow I had gotten my hands on a drink, and one drink turned into two, which… I'm not even going to lie, I drank the entire bottle in less than five minutes. That, on top of the pain killers I had found stashed under the sink, that I had properly crushed and snorted after convincing myself I would only take one, sent my head spinning and my body racing. The next thing I knew, I was being thrown into a room full of pissed off men trying to detain me.

I remember yelling at them, telling them to stop treating me like an animal that was to be caged and locked up. "I'm not a little girl! I don't need protection!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The silver haired man I had previously learned was Hidan asked, grabbing me underneath the arms and hauling me back from attacking Pein. "Calm your shit before I calm it for you!"

But it was no use, I kept struggling against his grip. There were eyes all over the room, coming out of the walls and staring me down. Judging me as the pathetic, washed up singer I was. Judging me and yelling at me and –

"Make it stop!" I wailed, drowning my face in tears as Kisame came up and tried to take me from Hidan. "Make them stop!"

Spiders started crawling on the walls and snakes began appearing from the floor, their beady little eyes staring me down as they prepared to strike.

Hidan let me go and I fell into Kisame's arms. I hadn't noticed the words pouring out of my mouth at the time, the song that had formed in my head and was leaking from my lips. _She wants to go home, but nobody's home…_ I just kept crying and singing and cry and singing , trying to avoid the eyes on the walls and the snakes on the ground.

And when those familiar red eyes appeared in front of me, a strange feeling of guilt overcame me.

"Stay still," Itachi said, connecting his eyes with mine.

My entire world went black.

* * *

><p>"She needs to be taken care of," Kazuku said. "She's worth more harm than good."<p>

"You're only saying that because she put a good dent in your pocketbook buying clothes," Deidara said, somehow feeling the need to stand up for the girl who was currently being locked in Itachi and Kisame's room for the time being. (And by locked he meant practically chained)

"We all know she didn't spend that money on clothes, Deidara," Konan said from her spot besides Pein. "She came back with a sweater and some stockings, and no change. Let's not kid ourselves here."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"So now what? Do we just dispose of her?" Kazuku continued.

"Let us take care of it," Zetsu commented. "**She'd make a good snack.**"

"All that substance in her system would probably knock you out dead," Sasori responded.

"In that case, let Toby eat her, yeah. Might as well take care of my problem along with yours."

"Are you saying she's not your problem?" Hidan grinned from beside Kazuku, a taunting expression across the immortals face. Oh! This was so priceless. "Hey everyone, I think this fucker has a crush."

Pein stopped the fit of laughter just as it began, stopping the mindless conversation and getting straight to business as usual. "Here's how things are going to work. Itachi and Kisame leave tomorrow to head to the Chuunin exams to take care of the Uzamaki boy. Deidara and Sasori will leave tonight to track whoever brought the girl here, since Hidan and Kazuku found nothing on their journey. I'd suggest starting where you first found her. Hidan, Kazuku," Pein turned towards the two partners. "I will leave her in your care for the time being, but I warn you, if you do anything to fuel her fire, this _insanity_ that is obviously living in her mind, I will punish you in the most horrible ways I can think of. Do I make myself clear?"

"Of course, Leader," Kazuku responded. "Even though I know you meant that mostly for my partner here," he hit Hidan on the back of the head, causing a string of profanities to fall from the silver haired man's mouth. "I'll make sure they both stay in line."

"Good. Dismissed."

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning to Kisame's beady eyes and pointy teeth staring me down.<p>

"I'm sorry," was all I managed to say.

"Me and Itachi are leaving today," he responded. "You're going to be staying with Hidan and Kazuku for a while." Meaning, _we can't trust you alone anymore. _

I nodded, not understanding where the huge lump in my throat was coming from, but for some reason it was affecting my tear ducts as well. My eyes were heavy and I swear the slightest comment from the red eyed man in the corner of the room would make me cry.

I hadn't felt such self-pity in a while, and I didn't like it. I was upset and confused as to why exactly I was upset. I mean, I had gone off the deep end before, probably in front of more people than I had last night, and I had never felt so… ashamed? I didn't even know how I was feeling. It was just bad. Really, really, really bad.

And I couldn't get Itachi's fucking eyes out of my head.

The past few weeks I had worked myself up to some sort of comfort level with the people around me. I would never admit out loud that Kisame had become somewhat of a friend – even if he did see me as a pet - and while I still detested Itachi for making me think he actually cared about me, I at least knew that he wasn't just trying to be an antagonizing asshole. There was some sense to his strict nature, and it was to prevent scenes like the one from last night.

Deidara and I had gotten pretty close… but I had ruined that completely after trying to get him drunk and have sex with him in his bedroom closet. It didn't work, though, even after I said some pretty nasty things about explosions and the natural ways to create them.

He had practically dragged me out by my hair after that, telling me to stop being such an immature child and if this was supposed to be payment for the guitar, he wasn't having it.

At the time I wasn't so butthurt about being rejected as I was about who would be my next target. It had been a really long time since the last time I had done anything sexual, and being on the road all the time basically entitles you to open up some sort of devious sexual nature you never knew existed. Apparently, my sexual nature had been on hold for too long, because the minute I finished the bottle of poison there was a fire in me I had forgot existed.

Now though, it just felt like an embarrassment along with the rest of that day.

I buried my face in the floor boards.

"Come on, kid," I heard Kisame say just as he kicked my side. "Time to get up. We gotta go."

"Just leave me here to die," I mumbled into the floor.

"Stop being over dramatic," the shark said with a laugh. "You're going to live. And if it tortures you so bad then hell, you're going to live longer!"

I let out another dramatic moan and lifted myself off the floor.

_Time to face the demons._

* * *

><p>"You can have that corner," Hidan said, throwing a pillow at my head. My reflexes were off tremendously, which meant I got a face full of feathers and an even bigger headache. "Whatever you do, don't go in the fucking bathroom unless I say you can. You'd be much better off going all the way back to shark boy and his trainer's room before using our toilet, anyways."<p>

"Uh. Do I want to know?" I mumbled, rubbing my head and sitting in the corner.

"No," Hidan replied. "And if you're going to sit there and fucking pout all day then just don't. It's bad enough we're stuck with you, and if you're just going to be a boring fucker well… I can make your death look like an accident."

"Funny," I said, holding the pillow up to my chest and yawning. "Kisame just promised me a long life this morning."

"Well the fucker can't keep his promises if he's not here. Kazuku won't be back until nightfall, so it's just me, you, and this room. Which means you're going to entertain me or I'll have to entertain myself. And there's only one thing that I enjoy."

"What's that?"

He grinned.

"Sacrifice."

I looked up at him in confusion, wondering if he was completely serious or not, but choosing to ignore it. With a sigh, I stood up and lifted my sweater above my head, unclasped my bra, and took off my underwear so that I was only wearing my stockings. Hidan's eyes went wide, and the most sinister smile I had ever seen masked his face.

"That works too."

* * *

><p>"I found a trail," Sasori said from inside his puppet container. "We'll go North."<p>

Deidara nodded, his mind too lost to comprehend what Sasori was truly saying.

_The cameras are gone and nobody screams  
>She couldn't survive her fifteen minutes of fame<br>Her friends are all gone, she's going insane  
>She'll never survive without the money and fame<em>

"Right."

_Hollywood whore, passed out on the floor  
>I'm sorry but the party's over<em>


	6. Under the Water

**Chapter Six**

****_I'm so tired of being here  
>Suppressed by all my childish fears <em>

"Toby found you!"

I looked up at the man standing in the closet doorway, peering at me from the hole in his ridiculous orange mask. Was he a man or was he a boy? He was way too grown to even be in his teens, that was for sure, but from the little bit I saw of him he acted as if he was no more than eight years old.

What was such a strange person doing in an organization of criminals?

"I wasn't trying to hide," I replied, looking back down at the guitar in my hands and strumming the beat I had been trying to perfect.

"But you were hiding and I found you!"

"I wasn't _hiding,_" I repeated again, more firmly this time. "I just needed some time to myself."

"But you were still hiding," the man replied, squatting down in front of me and tilting his head to the side. "From the others. So you could be alone."

I sighed.

"Toby's right, isn't he?"

I began the song I was working on before he had interrupted me, hoping he was one of those problems that would go away if you ignored it long enough. Like those little kids who feed on attention; if they don't get it from one person, they'll bounce to the next.

"What are you doing?" He asked, breaking the long silence between us that I was trying to keep going.

"Writing a song."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Toby."

"Toby wants to know!"

"Because _that's what I do,_" I could practically taste the bitterness on my tone. I had looked all day for the perfect spot to write, to get this fucking song out of my head an onto guitar, but _NO,_ Right when I found somewhere I could finally relax this annoying orange dipshit comes out of nowhere and -

I don't know what came over me, but the minute he reached for my guitar I lifted the instrument and smashed it on top of his head.

* * *

><p>"Is she really worth it, Madara?" Pein sighed, resisting the urge to rub his forehead out of frustration in front of the real leader of this wretched organization. "What can she really contribute?"<p>

"There was a reason she was brought here," Madara said from behind his mask. "I'm positive I almost had it figured out today, but…" he pointed to his head, where there was the smallest of bumps forming. "… there was some minor complications."

Pein nodded.

"I trust you know what you're doing."

* * *

><p>"I'll do it."<p>

"What do you mean you'll do it? You mean you want to replace her? It's not like you've guys have ever gotten along too well anyways, I bet you've been waiting – "

"Andy!" Tim's voice hushed over them all. "Calm. Down."

The band manager sighed and pulled at his glasses out of frustration. He knew that this band would be too much to handle from the start, but he had always liked a challenge. _This_, however, was much more of a challenge than he could have ever imagined. "Whether you want to accept it or not, Rob has a point. It would look better to the public, less shady, if you kept the original band intact instead of adding someone new. Can you hear the controversy rising?" He sighed. "Obviously the label didn't think of that."

"I'm not suggesting it to replace her," Rob responded, standing up as if the gesture could make him seem more sincere. "I'm suggesting it so that she's not replaced."

"I agree," Dan said, turning to Andy. "Sorry, bro. They have a point."

The brunette just crossed his arms over his chest, leaned back in the chair and sighed a "Whatever."

* * *

><p>It had been a week since Itachi, Kisame, and Deidara had left, and I was starting to feel really trapped. Hidan and Kazuku did absolutely nothing but complain about having to watch me, but they wouldn't let me out of their line of vision even for a second. The only time I had gotten away, Hidan had been in the bathroom doing what he does best (he was being completely serious when he said that sacrifice was one of his only forms of entertainment, and it scared so much I was beginning to have nightmares), and Kazuku was off doing something financial. I had dashed out of the room with my guitar to the nearest closet, and got a good ten minutes of song writing in before I was interrupted by the man in the annoying orange mask.<p>

And when he reached for my guitar it was only natural for me to smack him over the head and sprint back to Hidan's room as if I had never left to begin with, and I haven't left since.

Sure, Toby acted like a child and was as obnoxious as Andy when he was plastered out of his mind, but he was a part of this organization _for a reason._ He may have the brain of a five year old, but there's a high chance he could be some lethal killer plotting his revenge against the girl that beat him upside the head with a guitar.

I shivered at the thought.

"How long has it been since you've been here now?" I heard Hidan ask as he exited the bathroom, the smell of blood lingering in the air for a quick second before he shut the door again.

"Like a week," I replied. I was sprawled out on my stomach, my arms over my head with my eyes focused on the wall in front of me. It had been a week since my outburst, a week since the only people I could call acquaintances around here had left, and a week of withdrawals that left my head pounding and my limbs numb.

"Shit," he replied with agitation, "Another fucking week to go."

I groaned and buried my head between my arms, my nose touching the floorboards. "You are so aggravating."

"I'm not the one pouting on the floor like a little bitch," he said. I didn't realize he had been walking towards me until the smell of blood made itself evident once again. Hidan placed his hand on the back of my head and held it there for a second as if contemplating his next move, which would have been a really sentimental moment if it had been anyone else but him. I turned my head to ask what he was doing, but he had his hands around my throat before I could utter the words and I was on my back in an instant.

We carried on as we usually did, with Hidan picking me up and throwing me against a wall just for the sadistic effect of the matter, and went back to our designated placements afterwards, ignoring each other all the same. I asked him to get me food and he just laughed laughed at me as if I was retarded, but I didn't care much. I was hungry but I was losing the weight I had gained from being off the drugs.

I liked the weight at first; I liked the feel of being healthy, but the way Deidara said I looked different freaked me out and after that scene I made in front of the entire organization I kind of realized healthy has never been and will never be my thing, anyways.

I wanted to hit myself upside the head for even caring what these people thought of me. There was a time in my life where even considering someone else's perspective seemed like nothing more than a joke; I did what I wanted, when I wanted, with who I wanted. That was it.

But now there was this _want _that I've never felt before, this _need_ to be wanted that was so strong it had practically taken over. Was this sobriety? Wanting to be accepted? I didn't think the want for a bunch of deranged criminals to think highly of you was normal at any stand point, sober or not.

Actually, when I thought about it, this entire situation wasn't normal.

"Hidan," I said, interrupting the thick silence that had befallen us. "Am I ever going to go home?"

The laugh that emitted from the silver haired ninja's throat was so vile and sinister that I honestly didn't want to hear the answer. Thankfully, we were interrupted before he could answer.

Sadly, though, we were interrupted by Kazuku and the bloody corpse of Deidara.

* * *

><p>The noise that had worked its way out of my throat couldn't have been human. It was somewhere between a snarl and a scream, that was for sure, and I had to look away before I vomited all over the floor.<p>

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked, my head still facing down to the side as Kazuku mutter some profanities. I hear a _klunk_ and a groan and assumed that Kazuku had set Deidara down.

"Hidan, you fucking idiot!" The stitched up man yelled as the smell of old blood filled the room. "There is blood all over this fucking bathroom… And is that a corpse? How the fuck am I supposed to operate if I don't have a clean work space!"

"I didn't know the idiot was going to try and get himself killed! Heh, even if I did know, I wouldn't have fucking cared!"

"Is he going to be okay?" I repeated, a little louder. My brain was spinning, and even looking away I couldn't get the image of Deidara's mangled body out of my head. "I said-"

"Hidan, get her out of here," Kazuku said. "She's irritating me."

Hidan lifted me up by my waist and slung me over his shoulder, slamming the door behind us as we walked down the hall.

"I swear to Jashin you become more of a pain every second you're around. I don't see why we can't just kill you yet."

"Let me go then you dumb oaf!" I yelled, beginning to kick my legs and flail my arms out of frustration. "If I'm such a burden then let me go! Let me go! Let me go!"

"Agh! You dumb bitch that was my face! Stop acting like a fucking child!"

"Let me go!" I continued to yell, still kicking against his chest and hitting his back with my fists.

And Hidan did just that, dropping me to the ground without a second glance and continuing his way down the hall.

* * *

><p>"There was a woman that Hishibi used to be particularly fond of, back when he was still alive. Her name was Katy and she was the first woman he had ever managed to extract from the other world, and the only woman he had ever extracted that had not caused any amount of damage to the fate of our own. As you could probably guess, she was his favorite, and they spent quite a few years together before she fell fatally ill and perished. After her death, Hishibi's women's main purpose was to fill whatever sentimental place in his heart that felt abandoned by the death of this particular woman."<p>

"But Hishibi's women always had far greater purposes than his lust," Pein interrupted.

"Of course," Madara continued. "Sachiyo – to watch over the children of his village. Misaki – to train the ninja in all forms of other world martial arts. Hana – to infiltrate the Kage's manor and gather information of the uprising. I know you had only met Hana at the time of Hishibi's disposal, but do you remember what she looked like? Dark hair and bright eyes, just like the first woman he had ever taken. Sachiyo and Misaki as well, and I know you see the same in our little hostage."

Pein only nodded once in response, urging his leader to continue.

"Each woman's presence disturbed our world in many ways, as you can remember. Sachiyo brought with her the plague, killing off thousands of children until she was eventually sickened herself. Misaki let loose the poison that would fuel the tailed demon's rage for years to come, eventually being killed off by the Shukaku before he was sealed into the boy of the Sand. Hana brought with her what we would call the Spring of Natural Disasters, which was the very same spring both her and Hishibi were killed.

"Now, I have a question for you," Madara continued, taking off his mask and letting both red eyes meet Pein's obscure purple ones. The Akatsuki leader would never even admit to himself that the eyes of the older man before him set his nerves on fire, sent shivers down his spine that someone as powerful as himself should have been incapable of feeling. "Has anything obscene happen since KK has arrived? Have there been any string of deaths, any disasters with no explanations?"

"None that I'm aware of."

"I'll leave with one more question to think over," Madara smirked, pulling the strap of his mask back before dropping it and letting it collide with the wood that made it up. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

* * *

><p>"Sing me your art, yeah."<p>

_Lay my head under the water  
>Lay my head under the sea<em>

It had been hours before Kazuku had finished working on Deidara. He had come out of his room with an irritated look on his face, muttering to himself about how inconsiderate his partner was; an infirmary would cost too much, it was always easier to work on patients in the bathtub, but living with a sadistic animal made that seem like too much to ask.  
><em><br>Excuse me sir, am I your daughter?  
>Won't you take me back, take me back and see?<em>

The man passed by me without a second glance, and I had used this opportunity to go see Deidara for the first time since he had left.

"I'm sorry," I had said, kneeling down next to the bed and resting my elbows on the comforter. It looked as if he had been sleeping at first, which would have made my apology a lot easier because then I wouldn't have to hear his response, but those blue eyes opened as soon as I began to speak. "About what I did before you left…" I could feel the lump begin to grow in my throat and my hands started to sweat. "And about what happened to you after… what exactly happened?"

_There's not a time for being younger  
>And all my friends are enemies<em>

The blonde let out a small chuckle, not saying anything at first. I didn't blame him; I wouldn't have said anything to me either after the way I acted. It also looked really hard to breathe under the bandages that encircled the upper part of his body, not mentioning the fact that his face was cracked in ways I had never witnessed before.

_And if I cried unto my mother  
>No she wasn't there, she wasn't there for me<em>

"Deidara, really I'm –"

"Stop talking," he had muttered, a small smile cascading over his features as he lifted his hand and placed it slowly on top of my own. "Sing me your art, yeah."

And so I did.

_Don't let the water drag you down_

I literally ran to the closet I had stashed my guitar in so I could get back to him as quick as possible, as if Deidara could slip away from me at any minute.

I didn't want to sing one of my new songs; none of them were perfected, none emitted the right amount of emotion I wanted to get across, the rhythm not yet perfectly matching with the words. So I played the first song I could think of, which also happened to be the first song I had ever recorded, along with my most personal one.

_Broken lines across my mirror  
>Show my face, all red and bruised<em>

The classic case of parent abandonment, the classic case of abuse; I used to write songs like these all the time, back when I didn't hide my feelings behind ridiculous amounts of drugs, back before I was famous and felt like I had something to prove._ Did I have something to prove?_

Was there ever anything I could prove?  
><em><br>And though I screamed and I screamed, well no one came running  
>Now I wasn't saved, I wasn't safe from you<em>

"Did you write this one?" He asked, his voice coming out strained. I could only imagine how much pain he was in.

"Yeah," I said, leaning over my guitar so I could get a better look at his broken face. "I did."

He nodded and closed his eyes.

"I like it better than the other one," he said softly, and I couldn't hide the smile that formed on my face. "But…" a small pause and he opened his eyes to meet mine once again. "I still have to show you what true art is."

"You can't hold a compliment, can you?" I said with a small laugh, leaning over to rest my head and arms on the comforter.

"Never," he said, a smirk gracing his face. "Especially to someone like you, yeah."

"Way to ruin the moment, asshole," I replied, still smiling. He didn't bother responding.

Kazuku came in a little after Deidara had fallen asleep, with Hidan falling shortly behind, bitching as usual. He not so kindly explained that Deidara and Sasori had found who they believed to be the man who brought me here, but he was too powerful for the blonde to handle. Sasori, being the type of person not to waste his time on lost causes, had let the man escape into the woods and brought Deidara back immediately.

"He should have just let the fucker die then went after him," Hidan grumbled. "He could have easily knocked out two problems at once."

I held in my response, not wanting to start another argument with Hidan that would get me kicked out of the room; I wanted to be here when Deidara woke up, and that was more of a possibility if I didn't get on Kazuku's nerves.

Which let me tell you, was a really difficult task, because I was always doing _something_ to annoy the man.

"And why does he have to be in my bed? Can't you move him back to his room?"

"He wouldn't have to be in your bed if you learned to clean up after yourself!" Kazuku grumbled, staring down his partner with more fury than I had ever seen him possess. "I can't move him until his ribs have fully recovered, or risk them puncturing his lungs or even his heart."

"I don't see a downside to that."

"After all this organization went through to get him to join, do you think Leader would be sympathetic in his punishment towards you after learning that you are the reason he died? Because I would _not_ be willing to go through another hefty procedure to recover him. It's too much effort."

"Fuck off old man," was his only response as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.


	7. AN

Hi guys,

I know half of you are going to hate me for this, and then the other half just won't care, but this story is being re-written. I was making up a bunch of ideas as I went along, and I realize now that I can't put this story together without any major plot holes (I mean, there are usually always plot holes, but the ones I'm coming across are really big). Therefore, I'm going to start this story from scratch, and I'm not going to repost it until I'm halfway done with it (so I don't keep you guys waiting forever like I've been doing).

In the beginning, I also planned to make this a short story, but I have some ideas rolling and this will probably be double what I thought it would be. (I originally thought ten chapters, but it might amount to twenty or so depending on where I go with it)

I'll delete this story once it's rewritten, but only after the new one is reposted. I hope you guys can forgive me and will take the time to read the new one once it's done.

Thank you guys so much for the reviews, story alerts, favorites, and support!

Much love & I'll get it done as soon as possible!

Robyn Rauchen


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